So it's almost time for Solo: A Star Wars Story. Uh. I really wish I could get excited for this movie but everything I've seen just makes me afraid. Let's start off with the obvious first, was this a story that needed to be told? I don't think so. It is kind of in the same vein as the prequels for me, the story of Darth Vader didn't really need to be told, and neither does the story of Han Solo. Both of these characters had their most important moments in stories that have already been told. Darth Vader was a fallen Jedi who helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi and was once a student of Ben Kenobi. Do we really need to know anymore to make a compelling story? The rest of his character is shown through interactions with other characters, we don't have to be explicitly told his backstory. The same goes for Han Solo, he was a smuggler and general shady guy. We knew he had ties to the criminal world by his association with Jabba and Greedo and the "transport features" of his ship. We know he puts up a tough front but does actually care when he risks his life to save Luke after he has his reward. He grows through the OT and more of his backstory is gradually revealed through again, character interaction. We know all we need to know about Han Solo already.
I've heard people say, " But now we get to learn how he got the Millennium Falcon!". You already know that, he won it from Lando gambling. Right now we can imagine any number of shady ways or interesting games he could have won it with, now on Friday we will have a definitive answer and that rarely works out well or satisfies anyone.. Stories are interesting when you get the hints of a larger world peeking through a narrative, and very rarely stay that way when you pull back the curtain. Now we will know everything there is to know about Han Solo, how he got his ship, how he met Chewie, how he got his gun, how he became involved in crime, etc. Is this really going to make anyone happy? Or will it just leave you feeling hollow, like when you find out Darth Vader is a whiny kid and Luke has no mother because she lost the will to live. Or when you found out the Jedi were nothing but idiots who were duped by the most obvious evil plot in the galaxy and Yoda couldn't sense the dark side growing in a man sitting two feet from him ( both Anakin and Palpatine) even when a person who didn't have supernatural powers could tell Anakin had something seriously wrong just by looking at his face. And my favorite, finding out that Luke Skywalker turned in to a useless, bitter loser who is too depressed to try and help his own sister and is apparently too afraid to kill himself. Doesn't revealing backstory make everything so much better? Isn't everyone glad we know all these soul crushing things now?
Let's talk about the trailer for a minute. Are they seriously trying to build tension by making us wonder if Chewie and Han and Lando are going to make it through this alright? I guess they think we really are idiots. Will Chewie be crushed by that rock and die? Will Han be caught and killed by the Empire or the Hutts? Wow I wonder. Will Lando keep his precious ship? Can they make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs? FFS
This movie looks terrible to me, and the reviews have not given me confidence. Even the places Disney pays to shill Star Wars are coming out with taglines like " Extremely competent" " Great Visual Style!" " An uneven ride with highs and lows!". Wow, what glowing reviews. People being paid to say nice things about it can't manage more than this Luke(haha)warm reaction. Let me just put it this way, I have felt a great disturbance in the force, it was as if millions of Star Wars fans cried out in exasperation and were given another helping of dog shit. I fear something terrible is about to happen. Thanks for Reading!