Good day beautiful people! Ahhh~ I feel tired, but it's OK. I'm still alive. *lol*
I really want to talk about my thoughts about a certain anime which is entitled "GIVEN". But before that, if you are not into "Boy's Love" or if you have a prejudice about it, please feel free to leave this post. :)
As most of my Otaku friends know, I am a FUJOSHI... meaning, I love watching or reading "Boy's Love". I just find it exciting and touching because I have always believed that forbidden love is true love... especially when both parties fight against all odds just to be with each other.
GIVEN is a BL anime, but a tragic one. Well, there are a lot of tragic BL love stories and tragic ones are often more realistic than the "happily ever after" ones. It's sad, though. Everyone has the right to love who they want to love, but not everyone can do it freely without having other people judging them.
Let me show you a clip from the anime which really pulled on my heartstrings.
Mafuyu, the vocalist of the band "Given" used to have a childhood friend who later on became his boyfriend. Mafuyu grew up with an abusive father, so he was already scarred since he was young and the person who stayed by his side and saved him was that boyfriend.
Unfortunately, that boyfriend committed suicide... and Mafuyu was left with the memories of his savior killing himself. There was a part in the clip when Mafuyu asked his boyfriend, "Will you be willing to die for me?". I'm not sure if that's the only reason or his boyfriend had other reasons for committing an act. It wasn't explained in the anime, but the manga version is still ongoing, so it might be explained later in the future.
> Saying GOODBYE and leaving the person you love is painful... but NOT BEING ABLE TO SAY GOODBYE is torture.
This is what I thought upon watching the anime. Both Mafuyu and his boyfriend were broken, but they seek for each other to feel whole... Of course, not all people rely on love or on romantic relationships, but for some... love is such a serious thing. It could be a feeling of fulfilment or something that can make them feel like living. I don't know.
After the incident, Mafuyu's life became stagnant. He consistently lived in the past and couldn't feel anything at all. He was numb... he didn't even cry. He couldn't express or let out what he feels because he doesn't know what he feels at all. All that's left was his late boyfriend's broken guitar which he carries every day.
Everything slowly changed after one fateful encounter. In his new school, he met Ritsuka. Ritsuka is a guitarist from an instrumental band and he didn't only fix Mafuyu's broken guitar but also mended his broken heart.
Through Ritsuka, Mafuyu started to feel again. Ritsuka taught him how to play the guitar and invited him to be a part of their band.
Well, it wasn't smooth-sailing at first because Mafuyu is still haunted by the past and Ritsuka also has his own set of problems... their other band members also played a big role in guiding them.
And the performance you saw earlier was the first time Mafuyu expressed himself... his longing for his dead boyfriend, his regrets... everything. I can imagine how Mafuyu really treasured him. I know it's painful for Ritsuka to hear that song, but it was the trigger for Mafuyu to move on and continue living.
When Mafuyu screamed during his performance, I couldn't help but cry. Thus, immediately after watching the anime, I created a poem which I shared [HERE](https://steemit.com/poetry/@tegoshei/given-an-original-poetry).
> SHATTERED > That was me when you left > When I realized you're never coming back > That what we had will just be memories > Memories that will slowly fade as the world continues to turn
EMPTY Could no longer feel anything No laughters... not even tears Everything was just numb... everything seems bleak You're no longer by my side You went on on your own and left me alone
LONELINESS A feeling embracing me to my core I couldn't sleep... it's hard to breathe I just wanna runaway and scream But even if I did... it wouldn't bring you back
LOVE It has turned into fear A painful feeling that crushes my being My heart bleeds... I'm in the verge of falling irrevocably I can feel my blood flow slowly halting
GOODBYE The word I couldn't say I regretted that.. If only I could bring back time, so I could tell you properly That I loved you with all of me That your existence mattered That you're one of a kind, priceless
ACCEPTANCE That's what I'm supposed to work on To accept that you're no longer here, but will forever stay That the tomorrows I'll be experiencing will be different And that you want me to live on for both of us Your dreams, I'll carry with me You might not be here anymore... But one day, someday, I will be where you are
@tegoshei
It's scary to love and get hurt, but being able to experience it is such a wonderful feeling. It's been a while since I have been romantically in love with someone... yes, I have loved and gotten hurt by the same love. BUT, life goes on. It made me love myself more and appreciate other people around me.
For some, they might need their own "Ritsuka" to be whole again, but I tell you... loving yourself works the same. <3
Have a great day everyone! See you again soon!
Posted via Marlians.com
