Bernie

Ah, the 1980s - I'll be honest, I don't remember them - but I was in a position in the 1990s to get caught up, and I caught up well - watching some of the best cultural artifacts that decade had to offer - allowing them to permanently cement themselves in my mind - and the best parts, films only went for 90 odd minutes - an easy watch, not like the marathon epics directors want us to sit through these days!

So - let's rewind the old tapes and head back into the VHS collection. Did you ever see 'Weekend at Bernies'? I'm pretty convinced everyone has seen it - it is, afterall, such an outrageous proposition that we can't help but laugh at the black humour and irony which runs through it.

Here's the plot: Two young mates are working in a large corporate setting - one seeks to get ahead with hard work and dedication, the other likes to ride on tail coats. Both are in the office on a Saturday - pouring over large sheets of printer paper (Printer paper, now there's a roadtrip with nostalgia) - and they discover an accounting error. The discovery was huge! The following Monday, they took it straight to the CEO, Bernie - who wanted to invite the young men out to his island holiday home to reward their hard work.

& Let's face it - this is no 'holiday' - hanging out on a skyscrapper looking at numbers!

Except - that wasn't quite his intention; knowing that his de-frauding of the company had been discovered, it was his intention to kill the young men and continue his lifestyle! With the two men dead, he'd be back in a position where no one would be able to question the numbers!

This is where the dark humour starts - as the young friends take to the island's boat, a hitman is seen murdering Bernie. As the young men arrive at the island, they make their way to their boss's home - only to discover him dead. This raised the moral problem:

Should they go to the police, declare the death, and spend their weekend answering questions? or
Should they enjoy the fabulous weekend they had planned?

They choose the latter:

They set Bernie up - drink and cigarette ready to go - and, how kind - even offering to swat flies from his head. The deception begins to fool everyone, as the island folk go from home to home in a constant party congo-line. You'd think someone would notice he's dead, but nope - and, it seems over and over, Bernie is injured or falling off things. It's slapstick at its finest!

And here is the gang, going for a joy-ride in Bernie's golf cart. As they'd pass a local, Bernie's hand would life in a waving motion - giving the impression that he was still alive.

And it seems that Bernie is a ladies man - not even needing to or be alive to draw the attention of the young women around him (or, did they just need to see dollar signs?)

And here are the guys having a joy ride in the speed boat. They had a great idea of using ropes to tie Bernie down, and to enjoy the sun - but again, this became an opportunity for humour, as Bernie flies from the boat, being dragged behind it in his net of ropes!

And again, Bernie hanging out down at the beach - having a great time! (This shot is from the end of the film, but - it goes to the idea that Bernie is everywhere and very much a part of the weekend!)

And here's Bernie at a party - getting some tennis tips, before later haggling over a car sale - one of the locals taking Bernie's silence to his offers as a way of negotiation, and he ended up upping his offers until Bernie's head falls forward - which he takes as an acceptance of an offer.

And then the other half of the humour, as Bernie is dead - the young friends assume no one else knows this - but of course, the hitman who killed Bernie knows - and part of the curious humour of this film is that the hitman regularly encounters Bernie, seemingly alive - and it freaks him out! How could the dead be living, what had gone wrong? And so he has to try to kill him over and over again!

By the end of the film, the hitman is arrested by the police - although, he sounds like a madman, claiming Bernie is in fact alive! Bernie is then loaded into an ambulance, before he rolls from the vehicle and onto the beach where a young boy seeks to bury him.

With all these holiday vibes, it was no doubt that they went on to create a sequel!

This post was in response to the CineTV Tweet, get on it! https://twitter.com/CineTv_io/status/1510664652467879938

All images sourced from the film, distributed by 20th Century Studios and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. VHS GIF provided as part of the Tenor gif library.

Maybe assassin is too strong a word. But what does one call a man who shoots an elderly woman when her back is turned? A community leader? Well, yes, that is exactly what many of Bernie Tiede's (Jack Black) friends and neighbors would call him.

Who is this Bernie Tiede? Bernie is based on the true story of a man convicted of murder in Carthage, Texas in 1997. Prior to the murder (and in the months following it) Bernie was a church soloist, the director of the Carthage community theater, a consoler of widows, a part-time assistant funeral home director and general philanthropist. Of course, much of the money he gave away belonged to the deceased Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine).

Bernie is an interesting hybrid of documentary and mockumentary. The based-on-true-events story incorporates interviews of actual residents of Carthage. Blending in local townspeople results in some interesting dialogue, with Texas treasures like "those people are cousin-countin' rednecks." Where the term "counting" does not refer to assigning a numerical total. The story provides a background on Bernie Tiede and follows his descent into a state of despair stemming from a controlling relationship with his sugar mama, Marjorie.

The characters are interesting, drawn from a decent news item resurrected from more than a decade ago. The strange factor in this story is the outright conflict that the citizens of Carthage have with Bernie's guilt. His altruistic nature makes it hard for the town to accept his guilt. The dichotomy of the situation mirrors my own split feelings on the film. I found it entertaining while simultaneously finding myself bored at times.

Jack Black's range never ceases to amaze me. I know he is a renaissance guy, with a seemingly endless array of talents. Bernie features some amazing solos by Black. The solos are mostly Christian hymns, although there are some show tunes thrown in for good measure. Black plays the role straight, becoming the "straight man" for the local yokel humor that gives the film an interesting flavor. Many of the citizens of Carthage play themselves in this film, adding reality to the documentary aspect of the film. Matthew McConaughey plays the country DA, Danny Buck. It was his performance I enjoyed least. Shirley MacLaine is solid as usual, although her role seemed to be a resurrection of Ouiser from Steel Magnolias. Overall, the film felt like it was well cast.

Bernie received a PG-13 rating from the MPAA. The film featured a low-gore factor act of violence, strong language and several scenes with cadavers. Overall, the rating seems a bit strict for a film that explores a macabre subject but lacks the gratuitous blood and violence of other modern films. I did not find anything that would cause me to pause when viewing this film in the company of children. There is not much more to concern me than you would find on Discovery ID or TruTV.

I had mixed feelings about Bernie. I was thoroughly entertained, but I was also bored for a lengthy stretch midway through the film. Oddly, I stayed for the entire closing credits, as did many people in the theater. That is strange for a film that was only moderately engaging. I think we were all curious about the realistic elements of the film. I guess for that reason, I will go with 7/10. Good for a rainy day.

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