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Resident Evil 6

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Time to pray? / The rebirth of Ada Wong? / Residen Evil 6 / Review / (ENG/ESP)@lionsaturbix1112d
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  1. Game review: Resident Evil 6 - Aka, the shitty one (HiveGC Worst game contest)@deadspace2108d

    Hello, there. And, welcome to my game review which is going to be greasing up your asshole now. The @hivegc account is holding a new contest, where I have to talk about one of my worst gaming experiences. So, I figured I'd review the biggest stain on one of my favorite horror franchises. So, today, I guess that I'll be talking about the Resident Evil game that made my nutsack retreat back up inside of my out of sheer disgust, Resident Evil 6. You would think out of a team of over 600 people, one of those poor souls would have had the decency to burn this terrible game down before release, but sadly this game ultimately ended up dropping back in 2012.

    Honestly, after playing this game in the modern time, you'd probably be wondering if Vin Diesel somehow snuck into Capcom Headquarters and brainwashed some of the employee's into making this game about Family. Resident Evil 6 aimed to be a dramatic horror game, but instead we got a gelatinous pile of dog shit in comparison to pretty much every other RE game to be released. This game feels more like a high budget episode of The Walking Dead released in the Resident Evil universe, rather than an actual Resident Evil game. I laughed so much through my original playthrough of this back in 2012 that my knee would probably disintegrate from how hard I was slapping it and waggling my finger in the air. But, lets talk about why this game failed so hard.


    The biggest failure of this game is the tone by far. As I mentioned before, this game is entirely detached from being a horror game, in my opinion. The feel while you're playing is more reminiscent of a schlock filled Michael Bay action movie than a desolate horror title with all the tits, ass and explosions that happen while you play. You know, where a horror game would have tits, ass and gore instead. Regardless, instead of the atmospheric horror with lots of creepy designs and tension filled moments, we instead get Transformers 17, but replace the giant ass robots with zombies. It feels as lifeless and by the numbers as you could get with an action game. To sum it up, it was a huge fucking let down for teenage me, especially after the fun I had with Resident Evil 4 and even 5.

    The story itself is basic bitch tier shit. There are 4 campaign modes where you're using a different character for each, with their own purpose and goals. Without going into spoilers, I just genuinely thought the story was a huge mess narrative wise, and the writing for the dialogue was even worse. Most of the conversations do not feel natural, and make it seem like a lobotomized AI wrote the script for the game instead of a human being. You never at any point care about the characters within the game, or their situations throughout. All the twists are very predictable, and there's just no tension that builds up throughout the game. The game sets the pace of that of a soccer mom drinking wine while ranting about being anti mask on Facebook, and it stays at that level throughout. It fucking sucks.

    I'll be up front though and say if this game wasn't a Resident Evil game or a horror game in general (Like, if it was marketed as an action game with very, very minor horror elements tossed in), it would probably be passable for a forgettable and mediocre title. However, Capcom decided to spit on it's hand and just rub one over the hearts of thousands of Resident Evil fans across the world. And, who doesn't love getting a gamer gunk bukkake onto their face while full of tears of disappointment and sadness. Fuck yeah, babyyy.

    The controls and gameplay are also pretty mediocre, with some sections being just flat out stinky. Which kinda is sad, considering most of them are just an attempted carbon copy of the previous two games, but done more clunky. They also dial up the quick time events to 11, where they're super fucking overused. You could probably pull that off in a more cinematic game like Until Dawn, for example. But, I don't want 25-30 percent of the game to be mashing buttons on my nutsack like a cocaine fueled chimp. The dodge system was probably the worst bit of the controls, as you had to be aiming your gun while hitting the sprint button and down on your joystick. You know, because fuck toggle roll when we can just make everything convoluted as hell. And, instead of a roll animation, you get to feel like you're opening up an Onlyfans account since it looks like your characters are spread eagle on the floor ready to get their ass pounded. Combat in this game was just goofy and dumb in general.

    While I don't think the game is remotely a survival horror piece, they really wanted to beat you over the head with a 13 inch dildo that that's what they set out to do. Fighting is a core aspect of this game, and they barely give you any ammo to work with even though they place you into shoot out after shoot out like we're in dollar store Terminator 2. And, you can't just speedrun past this shit really, as there's lots of segments where you have to clear a room out before you can progress. Instead, you have to melee a fuck ton of the enemies, and it's honestly hilarious how you absolutely obliterate them. Apparently Leon/Chris/etc. are all now supernatural beings capable of exploding a zombie just by gently blowing on its penis.

    There was also another annoying aspect of the gameplay I didn't go over, which was the god damn camera angles while fighting. It was just a clunky system that made combat more annoying than it would need to be. It seemed like the angles worked against you and made your accuracy worse because the way the camera focused was never exactly correct. Maybe there was just some cutscenes missing showing that each character had been to a frat party and butt chugged 13 PBR's before coming back, otherwise I'm not sure why the visuals get kinda wonky like they do. Another stupid fucking issue is how you snap into cover automatically if you have your gun out, which would make you scream and shove a lego brick up your asshole in annoyance when you're just trying to get on the move. That shit was just very frustrating.

    However, past the actual movements and controls of the game, we have an even bigger pile of shit waiting. What's that, you're asking? Well, I hope you were prepared for no creativity or passion in the enemy designs of the gameee. That's right, the enemies in this game were boring as fuck and just recycled stuff from all of the previous iterations. I think this was one of my biggest disappointments with this game as a kid, I fucking loved all the unique creatures and characters the previous games had created. And, this one just kinda dragged its dilapidated ass on the carpet and said "Wow, now that's some spooky shit right there!" We got to see the return of Crimson Heads, though they were overpowered as fuck for what they were, acting like some shit straight out of the Marvel cinematic universe. There were the J'avo, which are literally the same exact fucking enemies as we got in Resident Evil 4 and 5, except now they have some gats to go pew pew. Again, my cock was so dried out and flaccid from this fucking game I'm surprised it didn't crumble into ash from the lack of testosterone and masculinity that I felt while playing this yucky game.

    World design is also just as bland and boring as the rest of the game. Each area just blends together as you progress, there's no unique backdrops or set pieces to be played around with. Honestly, most of the environments in this game just look like straight dog shit. Probably partly in due to the fact that everything in this game lacks any kind of color. This shit looked like it was actually made by an edgy 13 year old where everything has to be dark and dreary and just be nothing but dark and ugly. Maybe I'm just expecting too much, but between the first 4 main title games there were just so many cool areas to explore with lots of creativity used to make them. I just figured they'd be able to do something fun or unique at some point in this game. The character designs also follow the bland/boring theme. Everyone just looks like a slightly shittier, generic version of their past selves. And, new characters are so bland you'll forget about them within a few days of playing.

    But, there was one thing with this game that I actually enjoyed while playing it. Thank the dark lord Cthulhu for the Mercenaries mode that was included with the game. I always think this mode is pretty fun from the past games, and it holds up here as well. You never have to worry about shoving your boot into a monsters urethra, as there's always a good amount of ammo available to use for your weapons. There was even an aspect that was kinda reminiscent of Dark Souls where you could invade another players world as an enemy monster to twist their nipples a bit. This was definitely the biggest pro for me as a teenager, obviously. Otherwise, I can't say anything really too positive about this game. I'm just happy Resident Evil 7 didn't continue down this abysmal path.


    So, there was my entry into the worst game experience contest. I realize mine is a bit odd since it's technically more of a game review, but I figured I'd go with what I know how to do, which is spreading cheeks and going nuts to butts on terrible, terrible games. I could have maybe gotten a bit more personal, added in some details about how the game would make me so angry that I'd go throw myself down some stairs, then I'd go dunk my hands into a toilet bowl before sliding my fingers up my ass and whispering "Why, Daddy Capcom, why?" But, I figured this would get the point across. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the game review!

    Until next time, dood's.

    Later!

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  2. Game review: Resident Evil 6 (The worst Resident Evil game to date.)@deadspace3092d

    The game that I'm going to be writing about today is from one of my most beloved horror franchises, though this particular title comes from it's lowest point, it's called Resident evil 6. Resident Evil 6 was released in October of 2012 and was made available for the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360, with a release for Windows/Steam becoming available in March of 2013. It also saw a later release for the new generation consoles a few years later in March of 2016. It was developed and published by Capcom, and is the 9th installment of the Resident Evil series of games. The game had over 600 people involved with creating it, making it Capcoms largest production to this very day. You might find that a bit funny like I do, considering that this is considered to be the worst entry in the series by a large majority of the fans. 

    I certainly am of that train of thought. I don't have any idea how/why this game was supposed to be considered a survival/horror game, though Capcom did intend for it to be a "dramatic horror". I can definitely say that it fails to be anything that it set out for, as the game shows how shallow it is right at the start of the game. It honestly borders on being a summer blockbuster action movie parody throughout most of the game, which is something that should never be mentioned when talking about a Resident Evil video game. This honestly is just about as ridiculous as the films got with the insane, ridiculous action sequences and unspired story telling filled with cliches. There's so much to be said about this game, but almost none of it is positive whatsoever. 

    Honestly, the best way to describe this movie is like if you took a typical Micahel Bay movie like Transformers or something he heavily produced like the newest Ninja Turtles movies, but instead of giant robotic vehicles or giant turtles, toss in some zombies. That truly is the best way to really describe this movie, as crappy as that is to say for anyone who is a die hard Resident Evil fan like myself. This game truly lacks any and all sense of horror or survival, instead being replaced with non stop action scenes and chaotic moments involving explosions. It is truly a sad pathetic attempt at a game, lacking any and all creativity and just feeling absolutely as lifeless as the zombies in the game. It really feels like it is just paying tribute to all of the tropes and cliches of a Hollywood movie. 

    I'll be up front and say that this isn't the worst game that I have ever played or anything, however. If this was a game that didn't label itself as a Resident Evil game or a survival horror game, then it would at least be considered passable. It wouldn't be anything special, and at best would be considered mediocre and be forgotten by most people after a few months have passed. Yeah, sounds like a real fun game either way, huh? This game really depressed me when it came out and I started playing it, and I honestly thought I'd have to swear off Resident Evil games up until Resident Evil 7 was released and showed me why I love the series again. It is truly one boring, sluggish ride from building to building shooting down slow, tiresome enemies that provide no challenge. Even the story of the game this time around is just as awful as the rest of it. 

    I'm not even going to go into the story very much, as there are 4 different campaigns to play through each with their own goal. Each one revolves around either Leon, Ada Wong, Sherry, Jake or Chris Redfield. However, the reason I'm not going to delve too deep into them is that they're all basically just wasting your time it feels like, and you never really care about the situation or characters within the game. Several of the campaigns revolve around co-op with an AI if you're not playing with a friend, and it is some of the worst I have ever seen executed. Most of the reason you have a co-op buddy is for blockades that you must clear with hitting buttons at the same time as your teammate. It is very half assed and just, again, mediocre like everything else. There is no sense of tension or build up to a finale, the game sets a power walking pace at the start and never speeds up. There's nothing surprising or shocking, it's all just...predictable. 

    The controls of the game are an absolute joke, which is just sad considering that they just carbon copied the control design after several other years worth of Resident Evil/3rd person shooter games. Even the quick time events that happen far, far too often in the game are done poorly. The dodging system in the game is straight out annoying, as instead of having a toggle roll to dodge you have to aim your firearm then push down on your toggle stick while tapping the sprint button. Sounds like quite a bit of work just to be able to try and dodge one time, right? Especially when if you keep your weapon aimed while doing this you'll end up on the floor basically spread eagle looking like you're cosplaying a scene from Die Hard. It honestly seems dumb and makes combat feel ridiculous, and honestly harder than it needed to be in some ways. It's really just a special treat for everyone. 

    The camera angle that occurs during combat can be frustrating as well, more so when you're trying to get into cover while attempting to shoot the enemies. It can become even more frustrating do to the fact that the cover system is basically automatic so long as you're near a wall or object and pulling out your firearm to fight. This can make things pretty upsetting when you're trying to get on the move but keep snapping into a piece of cover nearby. The camera angles also make firing from cover fairly difficult, as the angles are never exactly right and seems to reduce accuracy by quite a bit. 

    The health system has been changed from the classic Resident Evil style, with herbs not being directly used to heal yourself. Not you have to craft the herbs you collect into a tablet form before you can actually use them to heal. Now, this doesn't sound all that awful when I just tell you about that bit, sure it is a little annoying having to craft them into a consumable. But, how about the fact that each tablet only heals one section of your health, and you have to keep tapping the button to consume more than one at a time. I honestly don't understand why they had to make this system much more complicated than it needed to be. This is something that the old games did far, far better. This just adds a bunch of needless steps to the process, making everything more tedious and annoying. 

    The zombies and monsters in this game are another issue that really shows again how boring the game is as there is no new designs for them really. There aren't really any new additions to the types of enemies that you'll find here. You have your typical zombies which can turn into crimson heads occasionally that are dumbly overpowered for what they are, to the point where they leap like the hulk and are so fast you can't get on target until they stop. This is more obnoxious and irritating than it is impressive, and it still doesn't add much of a challenge to the game since you'll still have no problem gunning them down. The other enemies of the game are J'avo, which is basically the same type of enemies from Resident Evil 4 except this time they have guns. I know, such a scary improvement, right? There are some other different types of enemies in the game, all of which we have seen either in previous Resident Evil games or other zombie/creature games over the past several years. So, no creativity here or any kind of improvement. 

    Maybe one of the only elements of this game that tries to stick with being a survival type game is the limited amounts of ammo that you can get. However, that doesn't really work in this game when it's a glorified action movie with shootout after shootout. This seems like Capcom is honestly just trying to screw with the fanbase, especially when you have to clear out a large amount of enemies from room to room before you're able to progress. Most of the crates and other sections don't drop ammo, but upgrade points towards changing your stats in the game. This forces you to rely on doing melee attacks more often, which makes it appear that you're playing as captain america with how easily you can obliterate a zombie with a roundhouse kick. It's a sad state of affairs that the game is set up this way. 

    The game is honestly just a huge ugly mess, and it seems like it purposely is trying to drive away any and all possibilities of fun or being immersed in the game. There is so much broken in this game or just designed in a awful manner that it restricts you in a lot of ways on how you can actually play the game. There isn't any real driving force in the game to engage you, there are no exciting or horrifying moments, the boss fights are brutally boring and tedious with no interesting designs or creepy moments like we've seen in all the other previous games. The further you venture into the game, the more disappointed you continue to find yourself. At least in my shoes that is how it was. 

    Even things such as the character models/design and the animations of the game seem like they're lacking something, as they're all very simplistic and really don't seem like they're from a big budget game. The animations don't even seem all that, well, animated to put it in a weird way. I think that the undead in the game are more animated than the animations the characters make when an event happens. The environment designs in the world you play in are boring and dull, with no kind of diversity to be seen. They all really blend into one another after you get through the early parts of the game. The color palette that the game uses is dreary and dark, and not in a good way. Honestly, the designs for just about everything are poor. I just can't say much that is positive about this game. 

    Pretty much the only fun or positive aspect of the game is the Mercenaries mode, which tends to be fun in just about every Resident Evil game. The combat in that mode is at least more entertaining and engaging since it's possible to find enough ammo to keep things lively and there is no horrible narrative forcing you to trudge forwards towards goals that you don't care about. There's also the option of doing an Agent Hunt which allows you to invade other users games as an enemy monster which is similar to what we've seen in the Dark Souls and Bloodeborne games. Honestly, besides that I can't think of too much else that I would say the game does well. Everything is either mediocre and boring, or just flat out terrible. 

    Overall, I can't say I would recommend this game to anyone, regardless if you're a fan of Resident Evil. Though if you are a fan and haven't played this yet, please don't, as it will hardheartedly shatter your expectations and make you feel betrayed. It's still a mediocre, boring game without being a Resident Evil game, that it's just a huge shame that it ever was released. This game was a huge step back for the franchise and just gaming as a whole I would say, as it glorified some of the worst things in the gaming industry. Thankfully we got Resident Evil 7, which put us back on track to having a great horror franchise and was leaps and bounds above this hunk of shit. 

    Thanks for checking out my review! Hope you've enjoyed it! 

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