Who I am goes beyond what I wear

From a young age, we’re taught sayings like “first impressions are everything” or “you get treated the way you look,” sayings that, from my perspective, imprint on your subconscious the idea that the way you dress is far more important than anything else you have to offer. While we live in a society that truly believes this, the truth is that nothing could be further from the truth.

Many times in my life, I’ve met people who are the complete opposite of what their appearance suggests. Even though they dress simply and without too many accessories, they turn out to be among the people with the most to offer. However, there’s also this other group of people who look quite elegant and have a “good sense of fashion,” but turn out to have nothing more to offer than their image. Although that’s what sells these days, we’re not here to sell ourselves.

I like to think that, while you should dress presentably and appropriately for the occasion, that can easily go hand in hand with simplicity if that’s what you prefer. The way you look has nothing to do with who you are. Over time, I’ve learned that what you wear is quite important—not because of “what people will say,” but because what you wear can either enhance or even prevent you from enjoying a good time. Tight pants can restrict your movements or even prevent you from being yourself.

I remember that as a teenager, like any other teenager, how I looked was way too important—not just because I felt that way, but because I was accepted or rejected based on my appearance. Thankfully, those days are over, and I’ve learned that I can dress however I want, and in the process, I can also be comfortable and free, because my clothes don’t define who I am at all.

As I’ve told you in my previous posts, I truly love being able to feel comfortable and free, and for me, that’s a priority when it comes to getting dressed. If I’m tired, I want to be able to crouch down and sit on a low wall to rest without anything holding me back. The most important thing about all this is what I’ve learned about clothes and the way we see ourselves. We have this mindset—which, honestly, is hard to shake—that we have to dress well to be accepted, but when we understand that clothes are only meant to cover us, we’re free.

Free in the sense that we don’t go through life feeling bad about not being able to buy the latest trends, or having to wear something we don’t like just because it’s what the rest of the world likes right now. Above all, we’re free because we prioritize things that are much more important, like feeling good, being comfortable, and being able to move freely. So my answer to this week’s Kiss question is that the fewer options we have, the more we strive to stay true to ourselves and be clear about who we are.

Because we’re no longer slaves to other people’s tastes, nor to others’ opinions about what we should or shouldn’t wear based on our body type, the date, or current fashion trends. Beyond that, we value who we are and know that within each of us there are so many things we have to offer. If someone doesn’t accept us because of how we look, that only says something about that person—not about us.

​For my part, I feel like learning this has been incredibly difficult, but now that I’ve come to understand it, I feel a little lighter because I know—and am very clear about—who I am, and one thing I’m not is the clothes I wear.