scrobble.life
Reflections

You Can’t Fix What You’re Too Close To

Recently, I was home for a bit and that once again made me realize how depressing it can get and how I am coping in the dumbest way possible.

Being home does something strange to me. I can't pin point the exact problem until recently.

After weeks away from work trip, I come back to a dilapidated home, leaky roofs which some point it could collapse. Strangely, though the mess I see, I feel comfortable in a way, hypothetically, a pathetic bum. Though, I noticed during my entire stay, I was coping through impulsive buying and fixing minor inconvenience with money. It's funny because I come back home with some money and have already decided to start re-build it. But once I am home, I am seeing more problems that it gets so overwhelming then as much as I was showered with love over there, they have a strong scarcity mindset. While I am trying to help my mom change her mindset, despite saying it, she doesn't believe it enough that her life could turn around. She wants the comfort but not the work.

Once the office calls me for another work trip, at first I got bitchy about being sent with economy premium train for 10 hours but then I realized that I had it worse many years ago and that wasn't even a paid trip. My life right now is starting to get better. It's not comfortable as it was but even then, when I had money my definition of comfortable was still around my first family mindset.

@consciouscat asked me this question a few months ago and to this day.... I actually still wonder if I deal with it well.

That's pretty fascinating, and it definitely sounds very challenging to navigate such differences in wealth between people - to move in and out of those spaces. I wonder how you're dealing with it? I don't know how well I would deal with it!

I thought I've dealt with it quite okay-ish but turns out, I wasn't... sometimes it's all being distorted and I am still struggling navigating both worlds. I live with scarcity mindset in one but abundance in another. It literally changes the way I see money and my relationship with it.

Comments · 2

  • @seki1(71)· 7d

    Tne gap can be crazy, I notice it in my friend groups and some relationships at the way people do tasks, deal with problems and with people.

    I feel its like you said, best to start bit by bit, at the end of the day, the roof would still get fixed.

  • @tarazkp(86)· 7d

    I don't know about the wealth disparity, but at least with doing tasks around the house, there is value in getting them done. Not monetary value perhaps, but there is a type of mental calm that comes with improving the spaces in which we live and I think it has a knock-on effect for us.