scrobble.life
Reflections

Over and Outsider

Taraz@tarazkp (86)1d

I think that is it for this year.

Smallsteps birthdays always seem to last a month, because there is a friends party and then one with the family, and they are never scheduled on or near her birthday, so then there is the Actual birthday also. Next year, we have agreed that there will be no large friends party though, just a few close friends for movie and a pizza or something.

The family birthday is the most work though.

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While the friends party is bigger, kids are happy with some ice cream, candy and chips. But while Smallsteps and I would be happy with less, when my wife's family is coming around, my wife feels that she has to make a whole smorgasbord of things that both look and taste okay. Not to mention the insanity of cleaning places that the family aren't even going to go into.

The only thing that Smallsteps wants every year is "Mokkapalat" which is a sponge chocolate cake baked on a tray, with a chocolate and coffee icing. It is her favourite. That is fair enough. But this year, there was an apple pie, a strawberry pie, and a baked cheesecake also - Along with a raspberry raspberry coulis.

It was good.

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Is it worth all the effort though?

I am not sure.

But, that is on my wife's plate. I had my own tasks to do, which was to get the basement looking presentable enough for her to show her family what has been happening down there. It was touch and go, but since I was up early and working hard, it was ready enough (Taraz ready, not wife ready) about fifteen minutes before the first guests arrived. Which gave just enough time to have a shower.

I never ask, but I always wonder what she wishes for.

Probably a better father.

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And this is kind of my view of these family events, kind of an outsider looking in. It isn't just that they are all speaking Finnish, but it is kind of like they tell their shared stories from their past lives together and well, I am not part of any of them.

When we were on the phone to my brother in the morning, they told a story about when I was seven or eight that I don't even remember, and I think it was one of the first childhood stories Smallsteps has heard about me like that. I think it has quite a big effect on how she connects with me compared to my wife, since she has far more data points with my wife and can relate in a different way. That is just part of the dynamic of being a foreigner in a country though, because without that family base, large parts of history are just missing. There are some benefits to that also, but it isn't all good.

Overall though, it was a nice day and Smallsteps (and everyone else) seemed to enjoy herself, which is good. When people were leaving, some asked if they could steal some more cherries from the trees, as they are still in good shape and plentiful. I was also forcing them to take as many apples as they can carry.

Everyone was well fed.

No complaints at least.

Taraz [ Gen1: Hive ]

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Comments · 9

  • @mhizrutty(54)· 17h

    Trust women to over prepare for any family event. It's in our genetic makeup. Small steps is a pretty lady by the way and I am positive she loves you @tarazkp

  • @emmanuel50(69)· 19h

    I can understand how you can feel like an outsider when you don’t share the same language and childhood memories with the family. Still, it is nice that Smallsteps got to hear some stories about you too. And the food sounds really good. At least everyone left happy and well fed.

  • @fieryfootprints(74)· 1d

    But this year, there was an apple pie, a strawberry pie, and a baked cheesecake also

    In my childhood I read a story about Karlsson-on-the-Roof. I assume that you know it as well. Anyway Karlsson once said very wise words: It is better to have 10(?) cakes with one candle than one cake with 10 candles.

  • @hivebuzz(74)· 1d

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  • @amigoponc(70)· 1d

    What a joy it is to join you in this celebration, @tarazkp! Reaching your first decade is a magical milestone. I wish with all my heart that your little Smallsteps’ life will always be filled with joy, that her biggest dreams will begin to blossom, and that she’ll never lose that curiosity to discover the world. Many blessings to her and to the whole family on this very special day.

    Happy 10th birthday to our dear Smallsteps!

  • @mrwellknown(57)· 1d

    family aren't even going to go into.

    I will never understand the mentality behind this. Sometimes, I feel like guests are coming here for the house inspection rather than as a guest.

    And maybe she wishes for you to own a bakery, so she can have all this every year without having to wait for her birthday.

    Wish you guys a healthy year ahead.

    You are good photographer!

  • @bozz(83)· 1d

    I'm glad she had such an awesome birthday! My wife's family has a couple months where everyone's birthdays are all lumped together, so it feels like an onslaught when those roll around.

  • @videoaddiction(72)· 1d

    I think living in another country means that there will always be some stories and shared memories that one was not part of. They will only be part of it for the next generation :)