With regards to the second prompt I think this is a very subjective question because the answer depends largely on the individual woman, her expectations and most importantly, what she considers happiness to be. Some women can genuinely find happiness in a life that looks nothing like what they once imagined, while others might struggle with the feeling that they have somehow fallen short of the life they were supposed to have. I don't think there is one answer that applies to everyone.
However, I think the better word to use in this discussion is contentment rather than happiness. Happiness, at least the way I understand it, is something that is temporary. I mean happiness comes and goes in moments. You can be happy today because something wonderful happened and feel completely different tomorrow because of an unexpected disappointment, maybe even in a few minutes you can be happy and the next youre sad. Happiness is an emotion and like every emotion it comes and goes, sometimes without us having much control . Contentment on the other hand is different. Contentment is the ability to appreciate where you are in life even when you recognise that things could have turned out differently.
I think also one thing ive learned about adulthood is that adulthood teaches us that life rarely follows the plans we make for it. When we are younger, we tend to have a picture of how our lives should look by certain ages. We imagine the financial position we will attain and the kind of family we will build. We attach timelines to these expectations, almost as though life has made an agreement with us to deliver everything according to schedule.
Unfortunately, life does not work that way and sometimes the career we desperately wanted never happens. The relationship we thought would lead to marriage ends unexpectedly. Some people get married much later than they anticipated while others discover that marriage itself is not what they imagined. There are also people who achieve almost everything they once prayed for but still find themselves searching for something they cannot quite explain. Life has a way of reminding us that having a plan does not necessarily mean having control over the outcome, some will term is as life not being fair but in my years ive come to realise that life and no one ever promised us that life will be fair because the people that constitute that “life” are human beings and human beings are fickle and themselves tend to be unfair to one another.
I also think women face a particular kind of societal pressure when it comes to how their lives should unfold. There are expectations placed on women alot, for instance a woman who is unmarried at an age society considers appropriate for marriage may constantly be reminded of it and pressured towards marriage. A married woman without children may face questions about motherhood, while a woman who chooses to prioritise her career may be criticised for not paying enough attention to family life. Even women who appear to have everything can find themselves being judged by standards they never agreed to.
The problem with these expectations is that they can make people feel inadequate even when they are doing perfectly well. It becomes difficult to appreciate your own life when you are constantly measuring it against someone else's achievements or an imaginary version of what your life should have been. Personally, I believe that a woman can absolutely be content with a life that looks different from what she once imagined but I also think we need to be honest about the fact that accepting your circumstances is not always easy. At the end of the day for me life is not a competition and there is no universal timetable for achieving everything that matters.
