I got this Korean TV show/drama recommended to me on my Viki feeds. I normally watch medical drama but this one caught my attention. The drama is called SKY Castle. It's about the wealthy and their obsession of paving their children's life path. It is filled with suspense and interesting story that I am quite familiar with. Anyway, I spent my day watching this Drama and came into another rude-awakening.

First of all, The word Sky itself refers to three top most prestigious universities in South Korea : S for Seoul national university , K for Korea university, Y for Yonsei University. It is said that admission to these university will ensure high position in the society. Here's the except from the Sky castle wikipedia:

The word SKY is an acronym used to refer to the three most prestigious universities in South Korea: Seoul National University, Korea University, and Yonsei University.[7][42] The term is widely used in South Korea, both in media broadcast and by the universities themselves.[43][44]

In South Korea, admission to one of the SKY universities is widely considered as determining one's career and social status.[45][42] Many of South Korea's most influential politicians, lawyers, physicians, engineers, journalists, professors, and policymakers (bureaucrats) have graduated from one of the SKY universities. - Sky Castle.

I suppose in each countries, no matter you are, there are this kind of universities. I remembered as a high school student there was non-formal courses offering supplemental education. Some are priced higher than the other because they claimed to have made their students accepted into most prestigious university in the country. This drama touched this subject. The mothers tried to find coach for their children so they can go to the medical school. They are coming from a wealthy family and this type of thing was normal for them. This so-called coach definitely supplement the student's study and give them tests prediction and they exercise on that. A lot of my friends took this type of thing too since they are from affluent family. Meanwhile, I didn't get this type of course and proper coach. My parents couldn't afford spending millions on me.

My mom was worried if i don't get accepted into any universities as we turned down some scholarship opportunities. Anyway, that was all partial and besides, my parents couldn't afford the flight and the living expense.

I remember when it was almost the end of the university admission and I was not accepted in the top university with my grades. No, it's not like my grades was terrible. They were all 90's and I was confident to pick the most prestigious university in Indonesia. But there were so many things at plays; including where I am from, my overall school progress, whether if there was alumni in the university, that type of thing too. So yeah, I didn't get admitted from that admission.

Like moms in Sky castle, they paid little attention to their family's problem and mental health. They didn't know that these things could affect children's performance. Same thing happened to me before my test.

The worst thing happened to me was I met my real dad who told me he was my actual father just a few hours before my national university entrance which was most important exam in my life. Through the exam, I was crying and couldn't concentrate. The result? I failed that exam.

Then, my mom was getting worried. At that point, I was having this mindset that I would just move with the flow. But then, my mom saw me one time learning programming from an online course. Then, she asked me if there was an online course for university preparation where I could take. I told her that there was, and she gave me 150,000 IDR to pay for the monthly access.

Me, who hated studying obviously didn't really pay much attention to it. I just learned something that truly interest me and then forget about the rest. Remembering about it, I feel sorry for my mom.

Shortly, I took another admission test administered by the most prestigious and the oldest university in the country. And I got accepted.

My life was suddenly bright once again and I forgot about the hard reality that I was adopted. I used to think it was a bad thing that my parents didn't want me. Now I think, they just gave me another chance to live well and be loved.

When I got accepted, My parents were so proud of me.I was the first in the family who could go to such prestigious university. I supposed, just like in SKY castle, my mother was extremely happy that her hard-work raising me was paid off. Not to mention, other mom really looked up to her and asked her how she did it.

But was I happy?

I suppose at first. But I remembered how my first and second semester felt so lonely. I was dealing with the family problem while trying to survive on my own, away from my family.

Despite everything, I wanted to quit cause I couldn't take it anymore. But my mom convinced me that there are many students who wanted to be in my position. Who would gladly switched their seat with me.But, I really wanted to just quit cause I was bored with lack of challenges and also the environment. I felt so isolated that time.

Since I couldn't quit, I tried my best to survive. I decided to be more open and I made friend. Then, I got into an accident that changed my life and myself, from this happy and bright kid to a somber gir l with self-sabotage tendency.

And I found myself to be a borderline alcoholic who paid no attention to class and being more rebellious than I ever was. My dream to be in the top of the chain in the society was gone. It vanished just like that.

Then I found Steemit

During my runaway from my family, I was trying to find ways to make money online other than taking job from friends and fiverr. I wanted to be entirely independent from my family and their support. My ex showed me this place since he knew that I really like writing.

Today, I couldn't believe it has been 3 years since I am on my rebellious and healing journey. From writing on this place, I learn and unlearn so many aspects of life.

And just two years ago, when I was in so much pain, I told my mom everything and she apologized to me. I don't know why she apologized but she obviously was making an effort to understand life from my perspective. As in SKY castle, the parents embraced their children and not being pushover about grades and what they want to do in life.

All that matters is that you are happy.

That's what my parents told me.

Now, I am 23 and in my last year of university. I used to think that I would be able to graduate by 21 and have my life figured already by 24. A lot of things happened in such a short time and sometimes I wished my life would be a lot more slower.

The silver lining from these past 3 years is that my parents finally come to terms that my happiness matters more than the projection of their desires. As in the Sky Castle, that was how the movie ended too. The parents accepted that their children will be best growing when they are free to explore their talents and skills.

Writing on hive has been a healing, a fun experience, and I am really happy doing it.

This page has been my companion surviving the university. Here, I can freely express myself without any expectations. I can share whatever I want and accommodate my vast interest. Though I know I have readers, I hope they don't mind that that I can be random at times; I don't have any niche. It's just me, a kid talking about her life.

I also learned that,

It doesn't really matter where you are educated. What matters when finding a job is your skill and talent.

It's not like I ever work with someone but this is something I learned on this blockchain journey from a lot of people I converse and met. Anyhow, I was always my own boss; I decide how much I make, who I work with and how many hours I spend on it and will remain to be that way. Though I know, sometimes I might talk about how I desperately want to have an office job just because.

So yeah, that's all reflection I had after watching that series. It was just making all the memories back from my competitive years. Where I, like this particular girl in the story was obsessed with being the best and learned that it could be damaging emotionally.

That life isn't all about books and people like us should be equipped with better ways to deal with emotional issues and possible life problems.

~ Signing out