So, everyone usually says that family is their first priority. But is that even true? Since childhood, my mom hss been telling me to always respect elderly people and even if they say something wrong I have to be quiet and stay close to these relatives. Like I must maintain a good relationship with our uncles and aunts. I agree, to this only if the uncle aunty are enough deserving for that then it's okay. If they are good as a person and treats me nicely then our relationships can be beautiful, but I also believe that respect should go both ways.
For an example, my uncle @rayhanhiveman, I'm his niece. We have a great bond like father-daughter, it's because he always treated me like his own daughters not like someone else's child. For that reason I always respect him, he also respects my choices and prevents from doing anything that would hurt me or I would dislike. He doesn't ignore my desires thinking that I'm just a kid, like my dad he also prioritizes what I expect from him. I really like it when he calls me "Maa" which means mom, people say it affectionately to the younger ones.
So, if I had kids? Well I'm not gonna have kids, but if I adopt some in the future. I would not ask them to maintain relationship with other people, if they feel safe and loved then they would do it themselves, I don't need to ask them to do it.
Anyway, I don't have very close relationship with all of my relatives. I'm only close with the ones who adores me and still buys me a chocolate (I'm joking, hehe). I only care about if someone respects my parents and if they are kind. I am happy to talk to them and spend time with them. I feel uncomfortable around relatives who used to taunt me and judged me or behaved rudely with my parents. I noticed these things even when I was younger.
Before the age of 13, I used to pretend to keep everything smooth, I acted that everything was good. But as I grew older I started to feel suffocation. So, I threw out the thought of "I should stay quiet and accept everything, because they are my relatives." I noticed their toxic pattern they did it because they thought I wouldn't say anything. Once, I started to defend I became one of the rudest child in our relatives, but I don't care about that. So yeah, being older does not give someone the certificate to judge or insult me, if they say something I'll make sure to answer them rapidly.
I'm happy that at least my dad supports me with this, but my mom is the opposite. She has a good relationships with relatives so she wants me to do the same thing. She tells me that relatives are important and I understand she wants the best for me. But she should understand that I am not her. I want my mom to understand that I do not want myself to build a relationship with someone who is a fake person. I would rather have a few genuine relationships than many fake ones.
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Thanks for reading 🌷
