Rollerball

History of cinema is full of biographies of people whose careers had spectacular rises only to be followed by even more spectacular falls. One of the best known (and the most infamous) examples can be found in John McTiernan, director who created some of the greatest action films of late 20th Century, like Predator and Die Hard. He completely wrecked his career with Rollerball, 2002 action film, which not only earned reputation of one of the worst pieces of cinema in 21st Century, but also indirectly brought its director behind prison bars, a fate very rare and extremely humiliating for someone who was supposed to be big name in Hollywood.

Catastrophic failure of Rollerball looks even more mind-boggling in light of it being one the most highly anticipated films of its time. Those high expectations were not only based on stellar reputation of its director, but also on the film’s high respectable source – eponymous 1975 film, combination of sports drama, action and dystopian vision of near future which became one of the classics of science fiction genre. The plot of the new version is also set in the future, but even nearer than the original – in the year 2005. The most popular sport in Asian countries is rollerball – combination of basketball, hockey, motocross and martial arts in which two teams chase each other on roller skates trying to score. Protagonist is Jonathan Cross (played by Chris Klein), young American ice hockey player whose attempt to play in NHL failed, so he accepts suggestion of his friend Marcus Ridley (played by LL Cool J) and travels to Kazakhstan where he would join rollerball team owned by influential and ruthless local tycoon Alexi Petrovich (played by Jean Reno). Four months later Jonathan thinks he made the right decision – he enjoys expensive cars, hundreds of millions of fans and romantic relationship with attractive female team mate Aurora (played by Rebecca Romijn). However, he gradually begins to notice that accidents and bloodletting more common and Aurora even warns him that the cameras were prepared for some of those events beforehand. Jonathan realises that Petrovic and other owners deliberately want to make the game more violent in order to increase viewership. Jonathan tries to escape, but that attempt fails and now the only way out is the game itself. He must survive the next game despite the rules being deliberately altered to make his death all but certain.

Rollerball was supposed to be great summer blockbuster and was initially scheduled for release in July 2001. However, release was delayed number of times until premiere finally happened in less ambitious time slot of February 2002. That was the right decision, but also the only right decision anyone involved in Rollerball actually made. Everything else was wrong. The plot was set in near future only in order to allow popular singer Pink to appear in cameo playing herself. Main villains from faceless (mostly US) corporations from the original were changed in stereotypical evildoers characteristic for post-Cold War Hollywood – former Russian Communists, conveniently joined by an Indian (played by Naveen Andrews), thus symbolising alliance US considered the true Axis of Evil in time before 9/11. The actual main villain, played by Jean Reno in over-the-top rmanner that would make Gary Oldman embodiment of subtlety, is motivated by greed, unlike protagonist who, like any true American cherishes love for the honour, fair play and other noble ideals.

This ode to true American values was to be presented to audience as wide as possible, including the younger viewers. This meant that the film where the violence had been one of main themes had that exact violence toned down or almost completely eliminated for the sake of PG-13 rating. New Rollerball also had to be “politically correct” in ways that would look ridiculous even in our ultra-”woke” times. Men and women take part in rollerball games together and even share locker rooms, but McTiernan tries very hard to make certain consequences of such practice as hidden or unappealing as possible (like in the scene where Rebecca Romijn’s character works out topless, but nobody is allowed to see any “interesting” detail). Since the romance happen to be major part of the plot, women are supposed to be brought in cinema by male lead whose main quality is too look as boyish as Leonardo Di Caprio as possible. Chris Klein as protagonist is, therefore, supposed to be more convincing as invincible charismatic athlete than James Caan, a former American football player, who embodied the same character in 1975 original. The suspension of disbelief goes by the window when “political correctness” even brings into rollerball team players with special needs.

Rollerball still had some chance, ewven with awful script and miserable casting choices, thanks to John McTiernan who definitely had talent to make this terrible mess at less watchable. But what audience finally saw in the end could be explained by McTiernan either being mentally incapacitated during production or “creative differences” with producers escalating to such level that he decided to deliberately sabotage his work. What brought fame to McTiernan in 1980s simply isn’t here. Action scenes are either banal or messy. Rollerball, fictional game the audience doesn’t know anything about, is made to look completely incomprehensible and unattractive, mostly thanks to terrible work of editor John Wright. The nightime chase scene through the desert, is so bad that it had to be seen to be believed. Eric Serra, composer whose work enhanced popular films by Luc Besson, here delivers one of the most irritating soundtracks in past few decades. Chris Klein as protagonist delivers such poor acting that Keanu Reeves in his most wooden performances looks like Olivier in comparison. LL Cool J is the only one who tries to give some dignity and sense to this catastrophe but his efforts predictably fail.

Rollerball, predictably, became massive flop at the box office and the critics, many of which had been championing McTiernan for years, showed little mercy. The film all but destroyed director’s reputation and in the end even led to his incarceration. In 2013 he was sentenced to a year in federal prison over illegal wiretapping he had conducted via controversial private investigator Anthony Pellicano. The target of the wiretapping was producer Charles Roven (whose latest work is Oppenheimer) with whom McTiernan clashed during production. Story of wiretaps, paranoia and Hollywood intrigue is, if turned into a film, is likely to produce something more entertaining than any second of Rollerball. And among those who see this abomination few would feel sorry for McTiernan having to spend a year behind bars.

RATING: 1/10 (--)

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